The Mission After

Mike Bledsoe (00:00)
Welcome to the Mission After podcast, where we help veterans discover and execute on the most important mission of their lives. I'm your host, Mike Bledsoe, and today's guest is Christy Campbell, founder of FitMe Nutrition and co -founder of Coaching Biz Manager. Christy, a Navy veteran, has spent the last decade helping people build strong, healthy bodies through coaching and fitness. She is passionate about personal development and mentorship. She has spoken at Microsoft Real Coaches Summit and the Nutrition Coaching Institute and hosts the

Fit Me Coffee Talk podcast. That's the Fit Me Coffee Talk podcast. She will share her journey from the Navy to becoming a fitness coach and entrepreneur, discussing the impact of military programming on relationships and the importance of being present with emotions. Before we dive in, we have a new cohort of veterans starting the Mission After mentorship program. Head over to the missionafter .org to join the wait list and join us this July for a 90 day program that will help you establish

a solid foundation for your identity, relationships, and of course, discover your next mission and execute. Now let's get into the conversation with Christie Campbell.

Christy (01:09)
Hi Mike. I'm doing well, how are you?

Mike Bledsoe (01:13)
Awesome. I, stoked to have you on. We were introduced to each other maybe six months ago and by our mutual friend, Sean past each and, I was telling him about the mission after and he goes, you gotta meet Christie. So he connected and I didn't know where it was going to go, but, ended up being a fantastic connection because

You joined the leadership team at the mission after, and it was a very serendipitous time to be introduced because it seems to me like you were going through a lot of transformation at the time. And, I've been living in the world of the transformational space for a while. And I was like, great. This is perfect. There's, there's not that many veterans that get into the transformational space.

And I think we need to have more voices that have been. So it's been a real blessing having you on the team. And I am looking forward to the audience getting to know you better. And I imagine I'm gonna learn a lot about you as well. And one of our last conversations we were having this week was around just some realizations around mindset.

and what you referred to as programming that you received in the military, all of us received, and how that's been impacting you recently. We're gonna dig into that. So a little cliffhanger there. people are like, okay, programming. Can you tell us a bit about where you come from? You served in the Navy, what that was like and...

Christy (02:57)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (03:07)
what you're doing right now. And then we'll fill in some gaps in between, but I like for people to know where you started, where you're at right now in your life, and we'll talk about how you got there.

Christy (03:20)
Yeah, now I'm really glad to be here. And I think our conversation yesterday was kind of a good like prequel, even though everybody else doesn't get to hear it. I feel like it kind of primed us for today. I'm from Salisbury, Maryland, which is on the eastern shore of Maryland. That's where I grew up. And I joined the Navy. So I went to the Naval Academy. I did a year at New Mexico Military Institute before the Naval Academy. I had to

I had two plans, either I was gonna go to the Naval Academy or I was gonna sit on the beach and play guitar. Like those were my two options. And so I did get in, but I got sent to New Mexico Military Institute for a year first, which is like an army ROTC, like two year commissioning program school, and then joined the Navy. And so my time in the Navy was, I was a surface warfare officer, so that's what I did. And I know we'll talk a little bit more about that, but...

Growing up, I was a super athletic kid. So played all the sports, soccer, softball, all the things. And during my first year at the Navy, I had a knee like slight injury. It wasn't anything big to be honest. And that knee surgery, the one misdiagnosis that I had in my first year in the Navy turned into 10 knee surgeries. So they didn't ACL reconstruction.

Mike Bledsoe (04:40)
my gosh.

Christy (04:44)
on a knee that did not have a torn ACL and they botched it. And so they basically repeated it. And so by the time I commissioned, I was probably like seven surgeries deep, seven knee surgeries deep before I went to my ship. And so the reason I tell you this is because when I got out of the Navy, if you fast forward a couple of years, it was, I was married, I had my first two kids, I had gained...

50 pounds with each pregnancy. I didn't really know how to eat at all. Like nutrition wise, I just grew up on like 80s, 90s kid food, you know, Otis Spunkmeyer cookies and Nutty Buddy Bars and stuff like that. Gushers, seven bowls of cereal kind of thing was like my food. And so I found myself 10 knee surgeries deep, like no longer identifying as an athlete anymore. I was just getting out of the Navy. I was 50 pounds overweight and a new mom, so I had two little

two little boys and I was just like, okay, well, this is like mom life. This is what happens when you have kids or you get older, you just get fat and you don't feel like yourself anymore. You don't feel like an athlete or attractive or sexy or cute or any of those things. You just look nice and you can be a good mom or a good wife or a good professional. And at the time I was working for a nonprofit called Operation Homefront, which was really cool.

And, but I was like really unhappy in my skin. I'd lost like a little bit of that identity of the athlete. And so I've got kind of stuck in sort of like a diet rut, to be honest. I had learned that from my mom. She had grown up always struggling with her weight. And so I had learned, okay, well, when you're overweight, you do weight watchers. When you're overweight, you stop eating and then you lose a little bit of weight and then you gain it back. And so I was kind of in that stuck phase and I was definitely doing more of like the gimmick.

Mike Bledsoe (06:21)
Mmm.

Christy (06:39)
diet kind of things and just struggling with it. And it wasn't until my, he's my ex -husband now, but my husband at the time, went on deployment, I moved home to Salisbury, Maryland to live with my mom with my two little ones. They were like not quite two and not quite four that I walked into like a world gym, I think, and I met a personal trainer. And he was like not any famous kind of trainer, nothing special. He was just a regular

guy, a good coach. And he was like, come to my bootcamp class in the park. And I was like, no way. I got a lot of reasons I can't do that. My knee is messed up. I got little kids. I'm too out of shape. Like I had every excuse. But he was like, just come. And so I went to that class in the park in like the winter, by the way, it's the middle of the winter. And in that first class, he was he was having us do like all this terrible stuff that

is your worst nightmare when you're overweight, like bear crawls, right? Like it's your worst nightmare when you're overweight or burpees and, or like pushups where you actually have to move like a Spiderman style pushup. Like the things that like nightmares are made of where people can see your butt, your clothes don't stay put. Like it's just a disaster. And I remember feeling like I got it is true. And I was like.

Mike Bledsoe (07:58)
Hahaha

that your clothes don't stay put. That's a very, this just gives me a lot of insight right there. I'm like, yeah, that happens when you're overweight and you're trying to do some of these crazy things. And then someone's trying to pull their pants up while they're exercising. That's a big thing. That's a big thing for a lot of people. They don't exercise because they're afraid of how they'll look when they're exercising.

Christy (08:07)
Yeah.

Exactly. It's the thing.

That's it's almost the entire thing in the beginning because you know that you can't do the things, but then you also know you don't look like an athlete or you don't look fit. So you're consciously aware of your body. And so you're like sitting and doing sit ups and you're not thinking about like, how do my muscles feel? You're thinking about like all my roles or can the person see my butt crack when I bend over? Like you're just constantly in.

Mike Bledsoe (08:35)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Christy (09:01)
that self -critical place. And that's exactly where I was that day. And the funny thing was, is that this coach, his name's Dante, his name's Dante Finney. So shout out to Dante. He walks by me and he goes, I can see an athlete in there. And it just shattered all of that like crap that was in my head and gave me this glimmer of hope. And so...

Mike Bledsoe (09:25)
Mmm.

Christy (09:27)
I don't even know that he meant to do it. It was just one of those coach moments, you know, where he's like trying to encourage me when I was suffering. But it was enough. It was just enough to him to see what in me that I wasn't able to feel anymore and see that I just kept going back. And so that year I just learned how he taught me how to lift weights and he didn't baby me because of my knee and.

Mike Bledsoe (09:45)
Mmm.

Christy (09:53)
I like found a community in his class and he taught me about nutrition, the basics, like the stuff that nobody had ever told me before. And so it was just like, hey, you better eat enough and you probably shouldn't eat out so much. You probably shouldn't drink so much. Like, how about we get more healthy food in and like just basics. But that year I lost 40 plus pounds, almost, I lost all of it. So 40 to 50 pounds, completely my body transformed, but he really gave me back that piece of me that was missing.

Mike Bledsoe (10:09)
Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Christy (10:22)
And it like fundamentally shifted my life. I was like, okay, this is what I'm doing for people. This coaching thing, this like helping people with their bodies transcends your education. It transcends your money, all of this. Like if you don't feel good in your body, then you're limited in how much you can enjoy your life. And so I got certified as a personal trainer. That was like step one and started my own class in the park out in Washington state.

and then found CrossFit and weightlifting and all of those things and spent probably five years completely immersed in coaching in person and just fell in love with all of it. And that's what I did for a long time and then transitioned into the online space. And so then it became, how can I do this with more people virtually? And it was also by necessity. Cause again, my ex -husband would have transferred a lot with his orders and so I had to move, but that's how I came.

to find my love for fitness and coaching and for what led me to where I'm at right now, I guess, is that journey of a coach who just made a huge difference for me. And so, yeah.

Mike Bledsoe (11:34)
Yeah. You've gone meta now because you don't just coach, but you're, you're helping coaches as well.

Christy (11:41)
Yeah, it's transformed because first it was coaching in person and then it was coaching online. Well, it's like, well, how do you coach online? Well, then you build an online business, but that's like a whole different skill set. And so that's not the same as running a CrossFit gym, which is what I did for a couple of years or writing programming, like totally different skill set. So then it took a couple of years to really learn it myself. And then once I'd learned the basics of that, it was like, well, now I have to learn marketing, which is a whole new skill set.

Mike Bledsoe (11:52)
Yes.

Christy (12:09)
And so that's kind of where I'm at right now. I still have my online nutrition company, it's called Fit Me. We really specialize in helping people with the kind of transformation that I went through. So it's like, I like to say I'll help you lose your first 40 pounds. And then now I'm also a co -founder of a company called Coaching Biz Manager where we really help people, like the primary thing we help people do is with the marketing and organization in their online coaching business.

Mike Bledsoe (12:22)
Mmm.

Mm -hmm.

Christy (12:35)
And so we helped them get leads and organize them and sign up clients and the stuff that was hard for me, that we learned along the way. And so that's, that's how we met ultimately was Sean introducing us because he knew like the work I was doing with online communities, in, in fit me. And then he knew I was kind of crossed over into this coach space and marketing and business. but he did not know at the time that I was kind of going through my own personal.

transformation and like healing and just like a lot of things were happening that were going to be in alignment with the mission after. He didn't know that when he introduced us.

Mike Bledsoe (13:13)
Yeah, yeah. It's really interesting how people get connected at times or the serendipity. So because when we first got on a call, I was like, okay, you know, we'll see what Sean, Sean connected me with, I, I end up on calls with a lot of people. And, you know, it's like, okay, that was a good call. But then some of the stuff that you revealed at the time, I was like, wow, this is a perfect. There's a perfect connection right here. One of the things that you said,

early on so far is you said you fell into the same pattern as your mom with the yo -yo dieting. And I know for myself, one of the reasons I went into the Navy was because I didn't want to be like my parents. It's like, what's up? What's something that's super dramatic that I can shift in my life and I can ensure that I won't be like my parents?

Christy (13:49)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (14:09)
And then I get out of the Navy and then within a few years, I was, it wasn't so obvious at the time, but I looked back and I go, I, I did the exact thing that I was trying to escape from. Like I, I didn't want to own my own business. I, I was really attracted cause my dad owned his own contracting business and I was

Christy (14:22)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Let's see if that's funny.

Mike Bledsoe (14:34)
I was like, the, the idea of being responsible for an entire business and, and always having to bring in more business and then dealing with customers. It's like, man, I would much rather just join an organization where they hand me a mission and I get to go execute. And I don't have to worry about any of this other stuff. And I can really focus in on I'm doing something cool. And I got out and then within a few years I had my own business and I was having to do.

Christy (14:56)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (15:03)
So my life was looking a lot like like my 10 o 'clock at night was a lot like what it looked like for my dad 10 o 'clock at night looking at the books and being frustrated with not knowing how to manage the money or how to get clients or make enough money to pay all the bills. I was like, man, this is the same exact thing. So I think it's interesting to note that I think that that that may be the case for more veterans than I realize. And that

Christy (15:10)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (15:31)
We may be sometimes we you know, I know a lot of people who joined because their parents were also in the military Yeah, sometimes it's in the family, but I know in my case it was to get away

Christy (15:40)
Mm hmm. Yeah, I think it was a combination of I'd always wanted to. I felt called to be of service. I think that was just like in somehow in me. And so that seemed like something I always wanted to do. And then I had been such a tomboy growing up. It was like the sports I played were all with the boys all the time. And so it was like, well, where can I compete? Like, where can I, you know, be pushed and be a part of the, you know?

Mike Bledsoe (15:53)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Christy (16:10)
what's happening. So that's that was part of it too. It was like certainly patriotism and wanting to be of service. But then it was that little bit of competitive. I want to be pushed in one of the boys and do hard things kind of mindset that I feel like I was just wired that way in some ways. But yeah, it was it's funny because there. You get that you get that in addition to like you get that sort of like.

Mike Bledsoe (16:29)
Yeah.

Christy (16:37)
what you're talking about, having a mission that you can focus on and be a part of something that's big. You get the competitive push. You get some of those things and then you get other stuff too that doesn't always necessarily serve you leaving the military or even in it to be honest, just as a person, but maybe by necessity.

Mike Bledsoe (16:58)
Yeah. What was what are some of your most recent realizations around some of the programming you received that in the milk? Because there's so many things that happen in the military. I know when I'm coaching and mentoring veterans, we're able to use what they learned in the military and apply that to their situation right now that I would not be able to do with the civilians. There's a lot of value there.

But also there's a lot of things that, you know, don't necessarily serve us. It's like, it was great then, but not so great now. What are some of the things you've realized recently?

Christy (17:36)
I think a lot of them actually have come very recently, to be honest. So when we met six or seven months ago, I had gone through a divorce that year and I had shared that I had started doing a lot of healing work myself and just working on, I mean, everything. It's funny because I feel like I spent a decade learning about how to take care of my...

body and help other people with their body and their mindset and then I was just scratching the surface of like taking care of me like my soul my who I am at its core that was just starting when we met and The reason I bring that up is because at the time I was just trying to deal with the problems at hand So the problems at hand where I'd gone through a divorce And I was struggling in a couple ways to like recognize who I was and how did I get here?

And so over the past six or seven months, I've had a lot of experiences both just with working with different teachers and healers and taking a lot of time, like daily time to like reflect on these things and then going through different retreats and some plant medicine experiences that have revealed that a lot of the things that I struggled with that might have led to that divorce also were a part of programs, I would call it or however we want to say, that I took on both as a

a child and then in the military for good reason, probably things you take on for survival or because they serve you in that time, but then no longer serve you. So that's one of the things I've recognized recently is when I look at what did I learn when I was in the Navy? Well, one of the things I learned was to cope, was to not complain and to kind of carry on with a like tackle the day mindset.

of like, this is what we got to do, so let's go do it. And there's not really time for, okay, well, I'm feeling this kind of way, or wouldn't it be better if this was the path? That's not the case. And I think that that actually really impacted my marriage because when I was struggling, I wasn't able to share it. And I let a lot of time pass where I felt distance when, for example, him being deployed and gone, like a lot of the last decade.

I just coped. I was an expert coper. And I think that is sometimes it's a good thing, but then other times it allows time to pass where walls get to be built up and distance happens. And then sometimes that distance ends relationships. So just something like I've reflected on that. I'm like, okay, well, it made sense in the Navy and probably still makes sense now, but also not always.

Mike Bledsoe (20:26)
Yeah, the, the, when you're talking about coping, you mean you're having, you're feeling a certain type of way and you simply ignore it or suppress it in different ways.

Christy (20:39)
Yeah, I think like in the beginning you actually do feel the things and then you stop. So for example, like missing someone. Well, if you miss someone, well then that sucks. Like you feel sad, you wish that they were present. So then you might feel that and you're like, okay, let's push that away. I got to get to the business of the day. But if you do that enough, then you just stop missing. Yeah. And then you just stop. Yeah. Eventually then you just stop missing.

Mike Bledsoe (20:43)
Mm -hmm.

I'll distract myself.

distract yourself with tasks.

Yeah.

Christy (21:06)
And so you get sort of in this sort of in -between place where you're not super happy or super sad. You're just doing the thing.

Mike Bledsoe (21:13)
Yeah, you stop. You actually stop feeling. So you go, I don't like how this feels. I'm going to stop feeling this. And that's where it's like, I can't feel happy or sad. When I think about depression, I don't think about sad. I think about depression is just an absence of being present with what's happening in the feeling world. And so we're, we're, we're riding in that middle road the whole time. And over time, it just gets lower and lower and lower until it does turn into a bit of a.

Christy (21:16)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (21:43)
sadness that can't be ignored anymore. And that's, that turns into the depression.

Christy (21:47)
Yeah. I think my set point, sort of like the identity I had created for myself also was one where I was like slightly above average in terms of optimism and energy and happiness of what I could project. So I was other people's relief. I could brighten.

Mike Bledsoe (22:09)
Mm -hmm.

Christy (22:10)
other people's day or have the optimistic mindset or be like, let's go, it's going to be fine. That was part of the whole coach thing too. It's like, we're good, like onward, let's learn this and then if we go through it, we're onto the next, right? That was also my default setting as a coach. I could project that on a daily basis and not even be aware that I was struggling, not even aware of it. It wasn't like I was thinking to myself, I'm going to play pretend today.

Mike Bledsoe (22:34)
Mm -hmm.

Christy (22:40)
Like it wasn't like that. And I think a lot of that programming, it could be from growing up too, a lot of it, but also from the Navy for sure.

Mike Bledsoe (22:51)
Yeah, I find that when, when a lot of times we go into the military and we go in because it aligns with the programming that's already set. It's like, okay, I, I, I know I can handle it because I'm pretty good at being able to not feel what's going on. And I'm going to be able to handle these really stressful situations. and so when

Christy (23:03)
Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (23:17)
when we get into the military, there's like a whole nother level of stress that comes online. It's like the tools, we just pull on those tools again and put them into use and they just get embedded even further and further. So by the time you get out, it's they don't, there's no, not many people out there teaching anyone how to get back into their feeling world.

Christy (23:41)
Yeah, and you don't want to typically. You're like, well, why would I want to do that at first? So I think that that's something I've realized recently was coping is not as great as I thought.

Mike Bledsoe (23:58)
Ha.

Christy (23:59)
And so now it's not that I don't wanna be resilient. Like I still firmly believe that is one of my like core values. But on the other hand, I think I need to be more honest about how I'm actually feeling or what's going on with me in a situation rather than just be everybody else's sunshine and rainbows if something's hard.

Mike Bledsoe (24:15)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah, there's, there's a, one of the, one of the concepts we play around with in the mission after is that resilience piece. And there's external resilience and there's internal resilience. And if I can, if I can suppress what I'm feeling in order to get the mission done, which in the military ends up being every day, even if you're home and you're not deployed, it's got to put my feelings aside so that I can execute.

Christy (24:44)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (24:51)
And so there's the appearance of resilience and I might be able to continue to withstand all these different pressures. But then, then we get out and because we're not feeling, we're not connected with other people. I think that's why a lot of veterans start feeling isolated even while in the presence of other people. And the resilience that, I like to teach is.

Can you be a hundred percent inside of your feeling world and be in the presence of those feelings and have authority over those feelings? So I'm not telling the feelings to go away. I'm completely present with them and I'm able to transform that energy into something that's useful. And that's like true emotional resilience is I can be present with my emotions and I can still be operational.

Our parents didn't really know how to do that and they don't teach that in the military. It requires a lot of time and energy to build that capacity. There's emotional capacity must be built and there's just no time for that in the military. You go to boot camp, they're not sitting there teaching you how to build emotional capacity. They're teaching you how to make external things occur no matter how you're feeling.

Christy (25:52)
Mm -mm.

Mike Bledsoe (26:17)
and, and so the pattern tends to be, well, I'll just put the feelings aside. And so what I noticed with a lot of veterans who get into the, the true emotional resilience path is it takes, it can take years to get back in touch with the feeling world and then gain a power and authority over ourselves without dismissing the feelings altogether. And.

Christy (26:46)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (26:47)
You know, if someone, if someone is listening to this and they haven't, they go, I don't know exactly what he's talking about or how that is even possible. it, it's, it's why it takes some time. It's like writing, learning to ride a bike or for the first time or, or learning to do any skill. I like to think about it as like it's a skill to be with your emotions, but also not allow them to rule your world. So if anger is coming up.

Feeling it all the way doesn't mean that you throw a temper tantrum. It means that you experience the anger and then you learn how to take ownership over the anger versus ignore it or let it out in an unhealthy way.

Christy (27:17)
Right.

Yeah, it's I think it's just a comfort level in general with yourself. It have like one your feelings, but then also in any capacity of who you are, particularly the the feminine stuff. Like that's the thing that also I've learned recently or sort of just become aware of, I guess. Not so much learned is how much I shut that piece down. Being in.

Mike Bledsoe (27:53)
Mmm.

Christy (27:54)
in the Navy. And again, even before that with my like boys sports and everything that I love doing, I think now about I didn't as an adult like in my last like 15 to 20 years, other than being, you know, in the fitness space and the business space and all that, which I would definitely lean more towards like a male dominated space. I didn't consider myself not feminine. It was never anything that that didn't even dawn on me that there was some balance, there was something out of balance there.

And now over the past couple of months, as I've started to explore and learn what that like feminine masculine balance is that we all have in some way, I'm like, I don't have that side at all. I shut it all down. I mean, I have it. It's just, it's been shut down. And I think back to my time in the Navy and I'm like, I know why. It's like, because you had to fit just right into the dynamic of being included.

Mike Bledsoe (28:41)
Mm -hmm.

Christy (28:54)
So the way I would describe it is like, I knew that I needed to be attractive, right? I couldn't be ugly, but if I was too pretty, that's dangerous. I needed to be fun and athletic because then you're included. You get to be like a part of the games and the fun and stuff. So that was just a way to...

Mike Bledsoe (29:07)
huh.

Christy (29:21)
to gateway into being one of the boys without having to be truly one of the boys, which I was like, I'm not that, but at least then I'll be included. And so then it's like, well, you've gotta be with it fast enough, right? Because if you're too thinky, you're too flowy, you're too uncertain, you're just like, I'm not sure, like that doesn't fly. You are immediately like.

Mike Bledsoe (29:30)
Mm -hmm.

Christy (29:47)
singled out for that, which again, in the military setting, it kind of makes sense, but there's no place for that. And so you learn to just not do that. And then you also distance yourself from other women. And so this was again, like a survival skill that I didn't realize I was doing at the time, which was by necessity, if you're one of the girls, you're not one of the boys. And so you distance yourself from other women. And so these were all things that just more recently I'm like, wow.

I learned all of this and then just kept it.

Mike Bledsoe (30:19)
Well, it's interesting that this is a newer conversation for you. And I'm curious what your, how you would define masculine and feminine or maybe not masculine, but you could tell us how you're experiencing being feminine now.

or desire to be feminine.

Christy (30:35)
Yeah, I would say all of this is new for me, Mike. And I know a lot of and you've probably done a ton of work on the masculine and the feminine and the balance. I have actually allowed myself to not dive into the reading of this. Like I haven't done all the Googling or gotten books. None of it. I am just letting it show up and exploring, to be honest. I'm so what I've observed. Really?

Mike Bledsoe (30:51)
Mm -hmm.

very very feminine of you. Good job. Good job.

Christy (31:08)
It seems in alignment with this whole season because that is more of what I am doing in general in my life right now. It is exploring and creating space to see something slowing down enough to just be present and experience what's happening, like be rather than do is what I would describe it.

Mike Bledsoe (31:30)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Christy (31:32)
And so for example, in the past, I always struggled with a morning ritual, a morning meditation or something. I tried to do it in the past. I never, it never stuck. And now it comes so easily, but there's no agenda. I literally sit down at my little spot where I do my meditation. I've got my journal and I've got some stones and candles and some stuff that smells good. And I just sit there and like whatever comes, comes.

Mike Bledsoe (31:58)
You're doing a great job. I, yeah. So like when I, when I think about like the masculine and feminine, there's, there's so many different ways, to talk about it. And the, if we, we, every, every man and every woman has a masculine and feminine expression. And the, the reason is, is we each had a mother and a father. And so our mother taught us.

how, she, that's where the feminine comes from, from the father comes the masculine. And so for, for a man to be like, I don't have any feminine qualities at all would be dismissing what he got from his mother and the same for women. And, so there's the, we could also think about the masculine is the mind and the mind tends to define, it creates definition, it gets definite and

Christy (32:55)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (32:56)
And to create definition means to take away and to focus into a single point. Right? So if we use a word and we take the definition of a word, it's to, to, to filter anything that's not that and focus only in on that one thing. And the, the feeling world, the emotional world is that of the feminine and it there's, the language of the body.

is emotions. The language of the mind is in words. And so a very cognitive approach to think our way through things, to strategically plan something, to create structure is a very masculine thing to do. And a very feminine way to approach things is to feel our way through things. And I think this shows up in culture in that

there's a good example of this is you've heard of doTERRA like essential oils and it's a multi -level marketing company and it's very communal. And, I've met a lot of people part of doTERRA and, they're mostly women and they're very communal and it's about

Christy (34:01)
Yeah.

Mike Bledsoe (34:21)
It's about the right now, what's happening right now, and they're helping each other out and collaborating. And the masculine doesn't do as well in those communal environments. And if we go back to like evolutionary psychology, it's like the women did stay back and they were gathering the food and taking care of, you know, helping each other, take care of the kids and all that kind of stuff. And the men were out there hunting.

And the men were single focused on the communication was only what was necessary to be quiet, to bring back an animal. And, you know, they didn't bring back an animal. The women were the ones that were actually providing in that case. And so it's, and even the brains between men and women are built different and that women have more left, right brain hemisphere connections than men, because they're, they're,

woman or a feminine approach is to have a more diffused focus and That's why women can manage so many more things going on at one time Whereas with men And I know that I'm talking about men and saying masculine women I'm saying feminine and I know that somebody out there's might get really angry with me, but that's okay We can have a whole other gender conversation another day but

Christy (35:33)
Mm -hmm.

you

Mike Bledsoe (35:45)
That's been my understanding of feminine and masculine. And feminine is usually a lot less concerned about time and a lot more in the now. And so if people want to get really nerdy, I know I'm like in a teaching moment right now and I want to be interviewing you and something that really tripped me out.

Christy (35:56)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (36:14)
A few years ago, a buddy of this brought this to my attention is, there's matter and then there's pattern. Right. And so that matter is maternal and pattern is paternal. And that's where those words come from. And so the feminine, the matter, the, the maternal is all that is in the universe. And

Christy (36:31)
Interesting.

Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (36:43)
the masculine is the pattern and that's the frequency that comes in to define the difference between what a rock and a plant is. And if we want to go super meta with it and zoom all the way out and get really philosophical. And then the final way I like to explain it is, and I'll use this analogy because I'm a guy and I played baseball and

Christy (36:54)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (37:11)
You know, when I was a little kid, if I was up at, up to bat and I struck out, what would my mom say? My mom, my mom would say, that's all right. Little Michael, it's okay. I love you just the way you are. You're doing great. You tried your best. And then how does the father respond? He goes, well, we're going to get in the batting cage tomorrow.

Christy (37:28)
Mm -hmm.

He he.

Mike Bledsoe (37:40)
and we're going to make you better. That way you don't strike out next time and you get on base. And so the difference there is like the the feminine is way more concerned about the the loving what is in the moment and being okay with that. And the masculine is going, how can we make this better? I have a vision of the future that's greater than this moment right now. And how are we going to get there? And both are important.

Christy (37:56)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (38:08)
And if we can hold both of those things, we can be really content and accepting of what's happening in this current moment. And then we can also hold as the masculine, the vision of the future on how something can be better. And when we hold both of these simultaneously, then we have the greatest chance of progress and happiness and fulfillment. And so I, I, it's important for us to hold both of these.

And in our culture at large, it's super masculine oriented, not just in the military, but the military is definitely, I mean, as soon as you get there, there's a hierarchy, there's rules and order and it's a masculine thing. And so it's no wonder to me that both men and women that go in the military, the feminine side of us gets suppressed even more because it's not a safe environment for it to be expressed.

Christy (38:47)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (39:06)
And the feminine expression is things like art, music and dancing and all this expression that comes from more of a flow and less of a plan.

Christy (39:18)
Mm hmm. Yeah, even in the things that I gravitated to over the past, you know, 15 years, it was all very regimented in some crossfit. I mean, I mean, like, think of it. It's like, do this in this amount of time. It's one pound better. Did you do, you know, exactly the thing? Like, how do you make this just incrementally better? And I

found physical expression in that same way. So it's like, okay, well, this is how I'm finding value and purpose. And like, I'm becoming a better human because I am getting better and I'm working hard. It wasn't even necessarily about the numbers. It was like, look at progress, right? Here's me progressing. And then, I can help other people progress in that way. So like, I'm contributing even more. And now it's so funny, because this morning, like I had an epiphany.

Mike Bledsoe (39:51)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Christy (40:17)
So I had a ceremony experience this weekend, so I'm still in the, I would call it the downloading stages, I don't know. The retreat itself is great, but it seems to me, as I'm doing more of these, that it's like the couple days after where all of a sudden things just start to boom, like hit you.

Mike Bledsoe (40:17)
Blue.

Yeah, do you care to share what kind of ceremony because I imagine some people hear the word ceremony and go, I don't know what you're talking about.

Christy (40:43)
What is that talking about? Yeah, it was a heart ceremony. So I don't know how to describe the medicine experience. You probably can better than me, but.

Mike Bledsoe (40:52)
So I got an entheogenic or a psychedelic experience. Okay.

Christy (40:56)
Yes. Yeah. And it's guided. And so it's very intentional. And ultimately, this particular one was more about for me exploring the feminine, to be honest. That was part of my intention and receiving. And so today I get up this morning and I take myself to the gym as I always do is whenever I can. And I recently like about it.

Mike Bledsoe (41:10)
Mmm. Mmm.

Christy (41:22)
six, about a year ago, I transitioned from CrossFit and weightlifting to more of like a bodybuilder style training just because it felt right. And I do jiu jitsu also. So it felt like a good balance. But I'm in the gym, I'm doing like my lat pull downs, and I'm doing some like incline press and got these weights and I was listening to music and I just couldn't stop moving. Like I just felt my body moving like a snake or like water. And I was like, these weights feel terrible.

Mike Bledsoe (41:42)
Mmm.

Christy (41:51)
And then I was like looking, I was looking at my body and I was like, but I really like feeling strong. I was like, I know that that's true. And so then I'm like, well, what do I want to do? And I just like allowed myself to ask that question. What do you want to do right now? You have 25 minutes before you have to leave and go beyond, you know? And I was like, I want to go upstairs. And so I went and got a yoga mat and I set it up and I was like, I'm going to learn how to do this like inverted yoga.

Mike Bledsoe (41:51)
You

Christy (42:20)
the movement and I want to flow and just move my body through space. That's what I want to do. And I want to do it in the way where you have to be like strong, physically strong in order to do it. And I was like, okay, well, day one of this new expression of like physical strength, but more in alignment with how I feel right now, which is I want to move. Like I want to push up to lead into like a handstand that moves through space.

I would like to do it more outside. I don't want to be trapped inside. I want to go outside and do it. And I want to capture like the beauty of what's around me. So I felt like this deep desire to like video it, not for the internet, but just to capture the shape of the body and light. And like, I was so inspired by the idea of doing that in different places. And so that is like an example of what's shifting for me.

Mike Bledsoe (43:08)
Yeah.

Christy (43:19)
And it just keeps happening.

Mike Bledsoe (43:22)
Yeah. The, I went through a phase leaving CrossFit and weightlifting. So for those that are listening to the don't know, I, my first business was a CrossFit gym. And when I started learning about the feminine and masculine, I realized that the counting of reps and weight and keeping time was a very masculine approach to human movement. And I realized that people are leaving their corporate environment where it's all

It's usually all metric based. It's like very masculine environment. And then they go, so I'm going to go blow off steam by doing more masculine behavior. And then, never really getting into that flow. And I spent a few years exploring more of the flow arts, for a period of time, I lost a lot of weight. I was 200 pounds. it was a 200 pound like CrossFit or weightlifter.

Christy (44:13)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (44:18)
And then I go, what's this? my friend, John Wolf from on it introduced me to the clubs and Mesa's and it was like, I'm just going to swing this 10 pound Mesa around a little bit. I met this guy who teaches crawling, and like ground movement, ground based movement, practice and started getting in more of the flow arts. And you know what? A lot, a lot of my injuries vanished within a few months.

Christy (44:26)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (44:48)
of playing, no plan, just going and going with the flow. What do I, what is my body desire today? And I did that for a number of years, exclusively. I tend to be a bit of an extremist in that fashion is like, all right, I'm going to forget anything that was structure -based. I'm only going to go flow. And so now, now where I've got now is there's both are present. So this morning was one of those days where I woke up and I.

Christy (45:03)
you

Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (45:18)
I go, what is my body asking me to do? And I ended up on my board in my gym, I have a gym garage on my board. I had, you know, what I'm going to do the next time I lift weights. So I, the next time I lift weights, I'm going to do this, but it doesn't mean that I'm going to lift weights on, on a specific day. And today was 45 minutes of stretching and 18 minutes.

Christy (45:22)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (45:44)
of stretching the hamstrings in different directions. And I realized that I don't think I've ever spent 18 minutes in a single day stretching just the hamstrings. But my body, I woke up and I goes, my body need and I started getting the signal of your hamstrings need some love and not, not by going and doing a bunch of ham curls or Nordic curls. They require to be stretched and loosened up.

Christy (45:54)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (46:13)
and just spend some time there. And it was totally fine. It was okay.

Christy (46:17)
Yeah, I remember the idea of for a while there. I mean, I was like a recreationally very competitive cross fitters, what I would call it. You know, like it was very important to me and I loved doing it. And I remember the idea of deviating from my Invictus competitor programming for even one day was not ever going to happen. Yeah, it was not going to happen, you know, and so like you had to do every little bit of it and

Mike Bledsoe (46:27)
Mm -hmm.

you were hardcore. You were doing Invictus.

Christy (46:48)
Yeah, I think that the balance obviously, our bodies, we have a lot of tools that I think we can't just dismiss because they're in a gym or because sets and reps would be helpful. It is a balance of both. But I would say for this season, I feel like exploring what strength feels like in my physical body without a barbell and

Mike Bledsoe (47:12)
Mmm.

Mm -hmm.

Christy (47:17)
and just to see. And I haven't been someone who up until this point in my life has danced. And it started to come out just all on its own. And that's really new. And it's almost, you go into this place in your mind where you get really, you can catch that ego feeling embarrassed or being like, you don't know how to do this or all of these stories. And then you just,

let them pass and that's where I'm learning is to let that those stories come up and then pass. And it's less about for me right now, it is less about following someone else because that's how I would do it in the past. If I wanted to learn how to dance, I would say, okay, well, I'm gonna go get dance lessons and I need a good dancer because I have to learn from the best dancer if I wanna learn how to dance. And I want to be sure that I

Mike Bledsoe (48:10)
Mmm. Mm -hmm.

Christy (48:16)
I do it right, right? Like that's how I would feel. And it is the exact opposite of that right now. It is internal. And I, again, almost like the learning about masculine and feminine, I almost have like this desire to not Google it. Not Google Shigong, no.

Mike Bledsoe (48:34)
Yeah, hopefully I didn't ruin it with you ruin it for you with my explanation, but I think you'll be okay.

Christy (48:39)
No, I liked it. I would rather hear it. I would much rather listen. So it doesn't feel like that doesn't feel the same to me as like Googling it or going to get a book to follow the instructions or like hire a course that's going to teach me listening to someone explain to me something actually feels a lot different now too. And without.

Mike Bledsoe (48:57)
Well, we're in a, we're in a conversation that's flowing as well. It's less of a, I'm going to go get the textbook. By the way, if you Google something like that, you're probably going to get the wrong answer. I'm not telling you, I'm telling the audience. What does Google want you to know right now?

Christy (49:00)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Yeah. And part of me also...

I've started to enjoy listening to, and this, again, this is less of a gender discussion, but more of something I've just observed lately is that I've enjoyed watching men talk and teach in their own, it's almost like they're telling their own story. And so it's like an expression all on its own of, you know, logically building something.

Mike Bledsoe (49:30)
Mmm.

Christy (49:42)
and explaining this side and this side. And sometimes I have trouble being present with it. I didn't used to. I would listen and I would learn. And now I'm very like caught into the you that is explaining it. Which is helpful because I'm still getting the gist of it. But sometimes I feel like I didn't listen lately, especially when men are talking and especially when it's from a sincere place. It doesn't happen when it's not. It's only when they're like teaching from a sincere place of like,

Mike Bledsoe (49:43)
Mm -hmm.

Mmm.

Christy (50:10)
I just allow them to sing their own song. And for listeners probably like, she sounds like a wacko. I'm just being honest about what I'm experiencing.

Mike Bledsoe (50:19)
that's, that's, that's fantastic. I've never heard that before. I, you definitely spurred some curiosity. So would you say that you're interested more in how they're being in the conversation versus the words they're using or what's the.

Christy (50:37)
I think it's not to how they're being, it's what they're doing. Not even doing, that's not even the right word.

It might be impossible to explain, so I'm gonna try. It is watching someone share, and particularly with men, but I'm sure with women too, when they have something they genuinely want to share that they know and it's coming from a sincere place, it feels really good to receive it. And so it's more about being present in receiving that information from them than it is to truly like...

understand it the way that I would have in the past. It's like, I'm receiving your interpretation of the masculine and feminine and just allowing you the space to teach it to me because that probably feels good for you to share it and not feel like I have to one up it with the thing that I know about masculine.

Mike Bledsoe (51:12)
Mmm.

Mmm.

Yeah. Well, that's, that's also another feminine thing. It's being in the receiving. The masculine is the giving side and the feminine is the receiving side. And that's why we want to have both because we want to be able to show up and give. You've probably given a lot. You've been mostly in the giving in your life. And it sounds like it's nice to be in the receiving of things.

Christy (51:57)
Yeah, it's different. It's really different. And so it's funny because it does show up for me in in weird ways in in like being in business and still being in fitness and still, you know, needing the masculine side a lot. Because sometimes I feel the dynamic there where I get nervous about something, for example, a deadline. And.

Mike Bledsoe (52:20)
huh.

Christy (52:21)
you know that you've got to get something done by a certain amount of time. And so you know that there are certain steps you need to do and procrastinating is not it and all of these things. And then other times you're where I'm more feeling this out or it doesn't quite align yet with how it makes sense for me. I feel that friction and I'm also just trying to not put too much judgment on that at this stage.

Luckily, I have a business partner in the coaching business manager who kind of is balancing that because he can clearly see like those lines and that's very helpful. I feel like that's why humans are good in communities because we can step in for each other in different places. And so I've just noticed that more also.

Mike Bledsoe (53:11)
Yeah, I'm curious to see what your, what talents and strengths come out from this. There's likely some things that are that you're unaware of that are going to emerge as something that you're really good at. And, and you're right, having people in an organization that are, you know, they have different skillsets and, I definitely have found myself being way more on the creative side in business, which is more of the

Like you give me the space and I get the flow with it. And, and then that's when really great things happen. And I've had business partners in the past that were really strict and structured and very mental and wanted like hit the deadlines and, and all that. And it, it's really nice because then I am allowed to be more in that, that feminine space actually. I think if you would have told me a decade ago, it's like, yeah, you like, you really shine in business when you're in your feminine.

Christy (54:04)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (54:10)
I would have told you to F off and even though it was like, yeah, you're like being really creative and I didn't associate being creative with a feminine expression, but it is.

Christy (54:11)
Yeah.

Mm hmm. Yeah, I think probably people are listening and I don't know how many men versus women are listening, probably more men. And I hope that you're still listening. But I think like as I'm exploring this, I think there is value for men and women to have both and have that balance. And maybe we're missing out on some of like life's best things when we're out of balance. And we're also.

Mike Bledsoe (54:48)
Mm -hmm.

Christy (54:52)
I think the belief system that you would be better and more productive if you are entirely in this one frame is not true. And I used to believe that it was. And so that compromising and having the creativity or the expression or just the intuition around it would somehow create less quality. But I don't think that that's true, actually. Even in business, sometimes I found that being

Mike Bledsoe (55:15)
Mm -hmm.

Christy (55:21)
to direct on a path without observing and without sensing that things are maybe not going as they should be can be really detrimental. You can stay on the wrong path for a long time and completely miss the memo.

Mike Bledsoe (55:35)
Yeah, the innovation comes from the feminine side. The big leaps, like the masculine will get incrementally better at something. The feminine coming in, the creativity coming in allows for the exponential growth of something and going, I'm just going to toy around with this. I have no idea where it's going, but I'm going to screw around with this and see where it lands.

Christy (55:39)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Mike Bledsoe (56:04)
That's, that's what happened with, my old YouTube channel ended up being wildly successful. There's 200 ,000 subscribers back in the day when 200 ,000 was a lot. I mean, I think it still is, but we were screwing around in my garage. We had, we weren't trying, like I knew that we would make money doing it. I had no idea how we would make money doing it. and

Christy (56:10)
Mm.

Mike Bledsoe (56:34)
That was an example of a very feminine approach to what we weren't thinking business at the time. We were thinking, let's have fun. And I know that other people, you know, I think some people will enjoy this. We'll see. And it was an exponential growth in that it became a business and there was exponential growth there. But the exponential growth didn't come from sitting down and

Christy (56:43)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (57:03)
doing a strategy. It came from a few of us screwing around in the garage with some film equipment and making stuff up and doing a lot of stuff that did not work and then finding some things that did work. And it ended up the idea that the exponential comes from the feminine essence. And so if someone's listening to this and going, well, I've been getting better incrementally at something, but haven't

ever experienced an exponential growth in something is give yourself the space to play without any concern with the outcome and see what happens. If you can do a little bit of both, you're gonna do really well in life.

Christy (57:39)
Mm -hmm.

Mm hmm. Yeah, I mean, I think also this belief system that we are purely our conscious regimented mind is also something that's just not has proven to not be true. And because of that, if we don't create the space for any creativity or any intuition, we're actually not even able to show up at our full capacity. And so in terms of like, why would I bother to?

to change what I'm doing or why would I want to? Because again, I think that's what I asked myself for so long is like, why would I want to do any of those things? It actually is very different on how even in business or in coaching or in interacting with people, I show up differently now. And it's just a more complete version of what I have to contribute or share. And it was cut off before.

And I think part of what, when I first started exploring this, so I went to a retreat back in January and it was in Costa Rica and there were these women there. And I remember going to the retreat and I'm like, all right, perfect. I'm like, there's not that many women here. One, it's not like I don't have girlfriends, but that I'm just much more comfortable in a space that is mostly men. And so I'm there and it's like mostly veterans, a handful of police and first responders who are there at this retreat.

Mike Bledsoe (59:08)
Mm -hmm.

Christy (59:17)
and a couple of women. That's who was there. So it was like sweet. Like this is a good place. This will be cool. And there were two women who were helping lead the retreat. And I could not stand them at first. And I couldn't figure out why. They were so nice. They were like very pleasant, but they spoke really softly. They moved different.

Mike Bledsoe (59:35)
Mmm. Mmm.

Christy (59:44)
And I was like, why do I not like them? What is wrong with me? Like I felt this sense of judgment and distance. And I was like, ugh. And it took a little bit. I don't even know if I, I more understand it now, but it was that they were like purely, they were the most feminine women I had ever experienced in the truest sense of the word. Like just how they moved and flowed. And I was walking back with one of the women and asking her, I said,

you know, I'm going into this season in my life where I want to bring in more of this feminine out of myself. And I was like, how do you do it? And I told her, I was honest with her. I was like, when I first met you, I did not like you. And I was like, and I know it's because, you know, you're triggering me essentially. Like I am very aware of this. And I said, so how do you do it? I really wanted her to give me like a doing it plan. Like you're going to need to go do this, this and this and this. You're going to go buy this. You're going to...

you know, start dressing like this, you're going to, you know, she's like, she's like, right. She's like, you don't she's like, you don't do it. You just are. And I was like, well, that's stupid. Like that doesn't help at all. But that it was it was very wise what she was sharing. And she was right. It was it's something that you.

Mike Bledsoe (1:00:45)
Give me the checklist.

Christy (1:01:11)
become so if you're listening to this or you just not even become it's something that you allow and then it comes on its own is why I would describe it now and so if you're listening to this you're like okay I believe you I would like to be exponentially better I also know that like I'm kind of closed off in some relationships and so I would like to not feel like that and maybe if I have some more feelings then I can have deeper connection maybe it's like with your

why for your partner, your girlfriend or your friend or again, if women are listening, maybe it's you are like me and you've shut down some of those things. And so you're like, yes, I want to do that. So give me the checklist. There isn't one. There isn't one. I would just my piece of advice would be to create some space for yourself and just play like you said, explore. Like what would it be like to go instead of go for a hike where you have to be at the top of the mountain, which I do love doing, just go into the woods.

Mike Bledsoe (1:01:53)
Yeah.

Yeah, I think the the heart medicine you experience is when I think about the

the from a neurotransmitter, I'm going to get real masculine explanation of this, but like the neuro from a neurotransmitter perspective, the heart medicine causes the body to release a lot of serotonin and dopamine as well. But it's your your body, your physiology is exposed to more serotonin than it probably ever has before. I think

Christy (1:02:16)
Hehehe. Hehehe.

Mike Bledsoe (1:02:39)
The only time that might compete with that is when a woman woman gives birth. I'll never know what that's like. But the I would like to hear from women on that. But serotonin is released and serotonin is the feminine neurotransmitter. It's the everything's good right now. You know, the only thing that's important is this moment and the task list.

fade into the background. And even if you try to pull a task list up in that space, it would fade right back out into the background again. And so it makes total sense that you've been exploring the heart medicine and that that would open you up to a much more feminine place. If we want to think about the substance that releases a lot of dopamine, a dopamine dominant

substance would be cocaine. And, you know, there's like Wolf of Wall Street type of stuff. It's like you want to get something done, you know, like, and you want to, you know, disregard feelings because it numbs, it numbs you to what you're feeling. Whereas the heart medicine brings you into your feelings. And so just from a neurotransmitter perspective, it makes total sense that being in that heart medicine would open up

Christy (1:03:40)
Hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (1:04:07)
the possibilities of exploring the feminine for you.

Christy (1:04:10)
Mm hmm. Yeah, this was my second experience. The other one was a couple of months ago. Yeah, it's funny. I actually have also stopped drinking, not because I decided like, I'm going to be done drinking. It just faded away. And that's it's not like off limits or something. I probably had two times in the past seven months where I've had something to drink, but I've always liked socially drinking. Always. It's always just been fun.

Mike Bledsoe (1:04:25)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Christy (1:04:38)
But yeah, it just hasn't been something I wanted to do lately. And I think it's similar. It's not the same, but to me, the experiences that I've been having with people or with these ceremonies or retreats or whatever they are, like they feel like I am tuned up. Like I am more aware and more conscious and seeing more clearly. So for example, like I can see nature better. I actually visually can see better.

It's like drinking is like the exact opposite of what it feels like. And it still feels fun. Like, don't get me wrong, but it just hasn't been something I've desired. And I think it's similar.

Mike Bledsoe (1:05:14)
Yeah, there's an explanation I've used is there's feel more substances and there's feel less substances and alcohol as they feel less and and the entheogenic medicines and psychedelics are they're amplifiers. A lot of times they're referred to as non -specific amplifiers and

Christy (1:05:28)
Yeah.

Interesting.

Mike Bledsoe (1:05:42)
It is the opposite of alcohol because alcohol causes you to feel less. You know, probably seen in the movies, like someone's about to like get their leg fixed. You know, they broke their leg and like they take a big swig of whiskey and bite down on the cork or something like that. It's a feel less and once once people start feeling more, the feeling less experience.

Christy (1:05:47)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Mike Bledsoe (1:06:11)
becomes less satisfying. And, you know, and I am, I'm no prude. I still like if I'm at a bar socially with people and they've got my scotch back there that I enjoy, I'll get a glass of that. Maybe, maybe two if I'm feeling froggy, but, you know, going beyond that just doesn't, it's like, I don't want to feel less. I want to feel more. and I think that

Christy (1:06:14)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (1:06:41)
for a lot of people feeling more could sound really scary. And something that's really beautiful about the entheogenic and psychedelic medicine is it can create scenarios where you're confronting things that you previously avoided, but it does it from a space where you can handle it and maybe even enjoy it. And the whole experience may not be enjoyable.

but you'll get to a place of enjoyment. So there may be a reason why you want to numb out and want to drink and all that, but you may have done an ayahuasca ceremony and that thing that you were trying to avoid, you confronted and you move through it and it's no longer an issue. And now it's, you go, there's really nothing to avoid anymore. I don't need to use alcohol to numb. And I think a lot of times people are, they go, I just enjoy having

couple of drinks. I go, yeah. And it most of what's going on for us emotionally is unconscious. So the interpretation of I just enjoy it could be I, I have the ability to enjoy myself more when I don't have to be vigilant and protecting myself from feeling this particular feeling, because I'm relying on the substance to do it for me.

Christy (1:07:47)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (1:08:04)
shortly after I was introduced to mushrooms that I didn't drink for, I think I didn't touch a drop for maybe three years. And yeah, yeah. And then the only time I drank after that is, you know, it might be a business networking thing and everyone else is having a drink and so I'll have one too. And, but I that's where it would stop. I wouldn't, I wouldn't get hammered. Whereas,

Christy (1:08:13)
Yeah, I think that's the season that I'm in.

No.

Mike Bledsoe (1:08:34)
know, the first eight years after I got out of the Navy, it was like, there was no such thing as one drink. It was it was one or all

Christy (1:08:40)
Mm -hmm.

I mean, the net talk about programming that was like the obvious one would be like the drinking that we all learned, you know, and the in the Navy and pull into port and you're just hammered immediately for as long as possible until you get back on the ship and you barely get back on the ship. You literally drag yourself and your friends back on the ship. And that's that's what it is.

Mike Bledsoe (1:08:49)
Yes.

Yeah.

I got carried back on the ship once and, where was I? I was in, Suda Bay Crete in Greece and me and my buddy got into a small altercation with a bartender where, we, the bartender then made nice with us. Like we, we, we,

Christy (1:09:23)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (1:09:39)
came to a common ground and he offered us a shot. And I don't remember anything after that shot. Yeah. So I'm pretty sure he slipped us because both my friend and I did blackout and I had to be carried back on the ship. And I woke up the next morning and I'm going through the food line and people are laughing and I go, no, what did I do?

Christy (1:09:41)
Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

wow.

Right.

Wow.

Yeah.

Mike Bledsoe (1:10:09)
What did I it? Am I am I am I in trouble and I don't know it yet? You know, you know that feeling you're like, I don't remember last night. Hopefully I didn't do anything that's going to get me put in the brig or sent the captain's mask or whatever it was.

Christy (1:10:14)
Yeah, you're just waiting for it.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was just part of the adventure of it too. And it was fun. And that's what I mean. Like I think we had a different version of fun because by necessity, like your day to day kind of sucked. Just the default setting was this sucks. And so then it's like, well, let's go hang out. Like let's go eat, let's go drink, let's go have fun.

Mike Bledsoe (1:10:51)
Mm -hmm.

Christy (1:10:52)
I know like in and for the men, obviously, it was probably even beyond that. Like, let's go find some women. Right. Like, I don't know. The women were all like, let's go find some men when they got off the ship. But the guys were. And so but that was the expression of like relaxing.

Mike Bledsoe (1:11:09)
Yeah, my one of my nicknames was, was, boy scout because I refused to, to engage in prostitution and, and then, or, or, Jiminy cricket. I was called Jiminy cricket for a while. Cause I would like, we'd be out and the guys would be like, let's go do this thing. And I'd go, I don't think that's a good idea. I, there was.

Christy (1:11:16)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Mike Bledsoe (1:11:38)
I was, I was the, the STD warnings worked really well on me. So I'm not, I can't claim that it was completely a moral high ground. It was more of like, you know, okay. So, so this is where the sailors stop all the time. And I'm like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go be with that woman that these 10 guys were just, this doesn't

Christy (1:11:46)
I had a

fear.

Mike Bledsoe (1:12:06)
This doesn't compute for me, but it is normalized.

Christy (1:12:08)
Yeah, I was so it's so normalized and I was so naive to it too. Like, I mean, I was really young, like in my early 20s, but I hadn't had like a normal late teens, early 20s experience because I had gone straight into the military right out of high school. And so sort of my understanding of things was a little bit sheltered. Even funny enough, you'd think it wouldn't be because of being in the military, but because I went to the Naval Academy and they were so strict, you know, I just didn't have a normal

Mike Bledsoe (1:12:24)
Mm -hmm.

Christy (1:12:38)
like becoming adult experience, I don't think. I mean, you weren't even allowed to have a guy in your room without having the door propped open. You know what I mean? It was like very much like that. And so I remember being super naive to it and having one of these like really profound experiences on my deployment in the Navy. We were in Argentina, I think. And I went out with all the guys like I always did. And there was only three girls in my ship anyway. So it wasn't like there was girls to hang out with. So I would go out with the...

Mike Bledsoe (1:12:45)
Yeah.

Christy (1:13:06)
with the guys and we went to a bar and I was like, cool, we're in the bar, you know, and it didn't dawn on me that it wasn't a bar, like a normal bar. I had no, no idea. And I was the only woman in there who wasn't working because it wasn't a bar. It just looks like one. And so then I'm in the bathroom and once it dawned on me and so I'm in the bathroom with the girls, it kind of looks like a bar slash club kind of scene.

Mike Bledsoe (1:13:18)
Mm -hmm.

Mmm.

Christy (1:13:36)
And I'm in there and I'm like with the other girls, just like in any other club slash bar scene, the girls are always in the bathroom checking their hair and like fixing themselves and getting ready to go back out. And the other girls are in there. And I was like, I had this one of these like profound experiences of like, wow, if I was like born here, like this could be what I'm doing. Like being here in this place, you know, and it was just really strange. And then I just remember going back and probably drinking and hanging out and then.

banishing that thought, you know, from being real.

Mike Bledsoe (1:14:07)
Yeah, that was one of the things that that tripped me out because it for Americans that haven't traveled to a lot of different countries. A lot of these countries like the bar and the brothel is the same thing. There are no strip clubs. There's no such thing as a strip club. It's it's either like a bar or a brothel. You're not it's it's very interesting.

Christy (1:14:23)
They look the same.

Mm -mm. Mm -mm.

Mike Bledsoe (1:14:37)
how that works. So definitely walked in my fair share of them and, but didn't really partake cause it's like, if you go to Vegas, the line, you know, if you go to a strip club in the U S the line is drawn for you, but there it's, it can get, you're like, this is on me and I'm having drinks. Cause I'm going to get myself in a very precarious situation here. So I usually avoided those, but again,

Christy (1:14:53)
Mm hmm. Yeah.

Mike Bledsoe (1:15:06)
That's why they called me Boy Scout and Jiminy Cricket.

Christy (1:15:08)
That's why I got the Boy Scout name. Yeah, and I think it I mean, that's even just like one tiny example of where I felt something and immediately squashed it. Like immediately, because there was so much there were so many reasons to squash a feeling like that where. I don't know, I think it was a feeling of.

Mike Bledsoe (1:15:20)
Mmm.

What was the feeling that came up?

Christy (1:15:36)
like maybe like profound, like humanity is kind of what I was experiencing. Like sort of like it sucks that some people don't have the same opportunity sort of thing. I mean, I was probably 22 or 21. I was like thinking about, man, like what didn't suck to have been like born in a place where I would have had to be like selling my body to make money to pay for food. And it was like one of these feelings where I felt guilty and.

Mike Bledsoe (1:15:40)
Mm.

Christy (1:16:01)
sort of like connected to them as women, but then also judging. It was just complicated. Like you're feeling all these things, but it was, I don't remember thinking those things at the time. It just passed. It was like, it was just like a wave of a moment and then it was gone because it was squashed by let's go drink, you know, shots of tequila. And also I don't want to witness these men who I like, who are my friends, who are cheating on their wives.

That is also feelings I don't want to feel and I don't want to like play out. And so like shut those down also. And then it's like, well, am I safe here? I don't want to feel that feeling either. So let's go ahead and turn that off that I could be like unsafe in this situation. It was just all of it. You just off.

Mike Bledsoe (1:16:52)
Yeah, I mean, when when we're traveling overseas, I think there's a opportunity to being exposed to other cultures and one way that it can be received is like, we're better than everybody else. And or you could have a moment like that where you're like, we realize, this is

This could really just be a matter of where I was born. If I was born here, this is what I would, you know, this is very well could be me. If you go deep enough down the rabbit hole, you realize they are you and, get, get far enough into meditation and plant medicine. And you get the experience of, we're all one. And I'm, I'm simply an expression of

Christy (1:17:20)
Right.

Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (1:17:47)
of God through this very specific window of experience, but I'm just looking into the eyes of somebody who who could have been mean is technically is me. And that thinking that we're separate is a very it's a very mental construct. Again, going back to the masculine and feminine, it's a very feminine thing to notice the the we and the masculine notices the eye.

Christy (1:18:00)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (1:18:17)
and the separation.

Christy (1:18:17)
Hmm.

Yeah, it's interesting because you miss, it's all tied up together too because it's like it makes it sound like it's all bad to have had like this like military experience. And I was only in for my short time and I know people have been in for their careers. I also didn't experience combat so I can't relate to what that dimension is of all of this where shutting down serves you in so many ways that literally translate to survival. And so I'm not

Mike Bledsoe (1:18:39)
Mm -hmm.

Christy (1:18:48)
downplaying it as sort of a important thing in certain times. I think it is. I just also feel like once we're not in or even when we are that when we've shut down those pieces of us that it will play out in other parts of your life. You will figure it out eventually. And I think that's how it showed up for me is like my status quo of coasting along, just being good at doing stuff.

and good at working harder than everyone else and good at being included. I'll hit like a big fat brick wall. And then I had to deal with it. And so I think I'm grateful that for the experiences that led me to that and sort of being able to do some of this work now. But but yeah, eventually it'll show show up somehow.

Mike Bledsoe (1:19:25)
Yeah.

Yeah, there's a there's this really great book called War and the Soul. And if you get the audio book, it's tough to listen to because the quality of the audio is is no bueno. And but in the book, this is a psychologist who worked primarily with Vietnam veterans.

And he, he cites a lot of sessions he has with these veterans and there's multiple times in the book where, and it's called war in the soul because it's, it talks about in these combat environments, how the soul will leave, in these extreme moments. And when, there's a lot of these moments where these men experienced,

Christy (1:20:21)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (1:20:32)
maybe incoming combatants and they put their feelings and they put their, they put their faith aside. Said, I don't have time for this right now. And that's when things would go south. Actually. That's when they experienced the biggest losses is when they were unable to stay tuned into their whole being and bring their whole being to the situation. and so it was interesting.

Christy (1:20:57)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (1:21:01)
to read that, but I also, you know, we, we work with people who are special forces in the mission after, and I've taken a lot of these guys on retreats for plant medicine in the past. And a lot of them have just gotten in the habit of they've become really good operators and being able to suppress go up, not feeling we're just going to execute this mission. And you do that enough times. And the these

really intense experiences really drive the skill of suppression as an automatic behavior that becomes difficult to reverse. And I say that to say it is reversible. All healing is possible. No matter what medical professional says about

you know, you can't restore your brain. You know, they used to tell people they couldn't restore brain damage. But now I think since about 2010, it's become widely accepted in in Western medicine that, the brain can regenerate and the nervous system does regenerate under the right the right conditions. And so I tell that because if anyone

anyone listening who says that things that maybe they're they're damaged beyond repair is that's just not true. There's there's always something there for you.

Christy (1:22:36)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah. It's a... And sometimes I think it's... We've also been taught that we have to do so much work to fix things. And one of the other things that I've learned over the past few months and going through these experiences is that sometimes that's true and then other times it's just as simple as like letting it go. And it's instantaneous.

Mike Bledsoe (1:22:52)
Mm. Mm -hmm.

Yeah, healing comes with ease. And and go.

Being easeful can be a difficult thing to do. If you've been wired to seek out stress and seek out hard, the idea of going to the gym and going to your yoga mat instead of doing lat pull downs and going into a state of ease can actually be the difficult thing. So I think it's...

Christy (1:23:18)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (1:23:41)
That's something that I've, I'm still learning how to be at ease in everything that I do. And the more it's funny is, I, I'm 42 and my body is in so much better shape than it was when I was 22. Like the joint pain and the damage I did to my body in my twenties, I thought was, this ankle will always suck when I

Christy (1:24:00)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (1:24:10)
get out of bed, it'll always be painful. It'll always, my neck will always, you know, 80 % of the time my neck is in pain and I just accept that it's only gonna get worse because I'm getting older. And now I, no neck pain. That ankle, it hurt every day getting out of bed for over a decade. Couldn't even tell that anything was ever wrong with it. And I noticed that when I approach my training with ease,

Christy (1:24:23)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (1:24:40)
Yes, I push hard in moments, but overall I'm approaching with ease. I tend to recover better. I feel better. I, I, when I was younger, I was like one of those hard gainers, you know, quote unquote hard gainers. I mean, I was eating 5 ,500 calories a day when I was weightlifting to maintain 200 pound body weight. And

Christy (1:24:55)
Mm -hmm.

Wow.

Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (1:25:05)
I, not that I'm trying to gain weight right now, but I maintain, the muscle mass that I desire with ease now that I just train with ease. Yeah. Yeah. I push in a moment, but it's, it's, I'm not going in there to kill anything anymore.

Christy (1:25:26)
It feels like that feels like mastery too. I mean, we didn't talk about jujitsu at all, but so much of this, like these things that I'm learning have parallels to what I've learned in jujitsu because in jujitsu, if you force it, it's not going to work like most of the time. And I mean, you can get away with it when you're stronger than someone. But then

Mike Bledsoe (1:25:44)
Right.

Well, by the way, folks, she's a purple belt, so she knows what she's talking about.

Christy (1:25:55)
It's been a I appreciate you saying that because it's been like funny I was terrible For so long and I still feel like that most people who love jujitsu always kind of feel like that They're like I'm never really getting better and then you get this like glimpse of feeling like you're getting better and then it's like okay I'm still at the beginning but one of my big lessons has been

Mike Bledsoe (1:26:16)
Yeah.

Christy (1:26:20)
because I did come out of CrossFit and weightlifting where I was like, I'm just gonna be strong. Like that's what I'm gonna do here. I am going to hold you here. And then I'm like, wait, that's not how you do it actually. There's an ease to it and a flow that once you learn to move and you're shifting your weight and you're shifting their weight and you're feeling their body, that you don't have to squeeze so hard.

Mike Bledsoe (1:26:25)
Yeah.

Christy (1:26:45)
And in fact, squeezing hard is the wrong thing because then you're going to burn out your energy and you got to save it for the moment that you're going to squeeze hard or that you're going to be fast. But if you're fast all the time, then you're not, you're not really able to, what will happen, which is why it's such a good lesson is that someone who is in tune with the flow of it and who isn't just trying to use

Mike Bledsoe (1:26:52)
Yeah.

Christy (1:27:13)
force will beat you and you will realize that all of your muscles or your weight doesn't matter when someone has this understanding and then it's so humbling because then you're like, well, there is a place for strength. Like it's not that it's not useful. It is. It's just that's not the path like this plow through like I'm going to force you to move. And so that's been such a

Mike Bledsoe (1:27:18)
Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Christy (1:27:43)
good reminder and a good like mirror all the time for this.

Mike Bledsoe (1:27:47)
Yeah, there's a I remember when I started in jujitsu, the we had a bunch of Brazilian guys at the gym. This is like mid 2000. So this is when jujitsu is still new in the States. So you'd have a bunch of American dudes. You know, we come in the gym like, I'm so strong. I'm going to I'm going to like tap these dudes out. And then you got these Brazilian guys are just like so soft.

Christy (1:27:59)
Mm -hmm.

Mike Bledsoe (1:28:16)
Next thing I know, I'm like in some crazy lock and I go, what happened? And they're, and I'm breathing hard. They're not breathing hard at all. And I go, okay. I've been, I've been studying cats for a while and, I've had some experiences with a Jaguars and, medicine spaces. Super cool.

Christy (1:28:16)
Yeah.

haha

Mm -hmm.

Mm hmm. cool.

Mike Bledsoe (1:28:45)
And one of the major lesson I've learned from said I was in Columbia and I actually turned into a Jaguar. And which was very difficult because I had to be born again. So I had to die and then become people like, OK, I'm not going to do that medicine. That's not where we'll start, folks. We won't start with that medicine. But the.

Christy (1:29:03)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Mike Bledsoe (1:29:11)
What I got from it was like Jaguars, cats, they spend the majority of time relaxing and they pounce only when necessary. Like they're incredibly, the Jaguar has one of the most powerful bites pound for pound on the planet. But it doesn't have to use it very often. And it just, it chills, it chills and chills. And next thing you know, boom.

Christy (1:29:34)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Mike Bledsoe (1:29:39)
you're done. And so I think that that parallels really well with Jiu Jitsu.

Christy (1:29:45)
Mm -hmm. It's like more about it's like moving most of the time and then some of the time you're explosive. And it's.

Mike Bledsoe (1:29:53)
Mm -hmm.

Christy (1:29:56)
thoughtful about where you are in relation to something else, which is again, like it seems funny because it's obvious, but a cat moves like that. It's all about where they are in relation to you. That's what gives you like the chill even thinking about it because you know they're there. Yeah, it's interesting. It's just...

Mike Bledsoe (1:30:16)
yeah.

Christy (1:30:21)
It's different. So I think it's funny that this podcast come out on like day one of sort of my realization that I want to explore a new type of strength and movement. So maybe in the archives and like a couple of years from now, I'll have discovered like a bunch of cool things that, you know, are a part of that. But today was day one.

Mike Bledsoe (1:30:45)
Nice, nice. I'm glad we got to have this conversation today. Seems very serendipitous. Yeah, we're gonna close it up here. Anything else you want to leave the audience with before we go?

Christy (1:30:50)
Yeah. Yeah.

No, I hope this, I mean, it was probably like, I, part of me wonders that was this interesting, like, is it, you know, helpful, any of those things that my normal brain like goes to, and then I'm like, it is what it is. If this was something that was meaningful and hits you exactly at this point, then that's awesome. And if not, then put it in the archives for later. It might be helpful later.

Mike Bledsoe (1:31:12)
Yeah.

you know, fantastic conversation. Really enjoyed it. Glad we got to drop in. And I know a lot of times we're talking about what we're doing in the mission after and it's really cool to dive into what's going on for you in your world and what you're you've been learning and dissecting and looking at your experience as a veteran and sharing that with everybody. Ton of value here. Appreciate you. Is it

Christy (1:31:51)
Yeah, thanks Mike.

Mike Bledsoe (1:31:53)
Any, where can people follow you? See what you're up to.

Christy (1:31:56)
On Instagram, I'm Christy May Campbell. And so you're going to see mostly nutrition and fitness type stuff. That's what I post there. But if you DM me, I'll definitely answer. And then in the, you know, in the online coaching business space, if you're looking to connect with me there, just go to coachingbizmanager .com and you'll find me. Yeah. Thanks Mike.

Mike Bledsoe (1:32:16)
Excellent. Thanks for joining us today.

Mike Bledsoe (1:32:20)
Thank you for tuning into this episode of the Mission After. Before we wrap up, I want to remind you about our free resource, the 10 surprising military habits that are sabotaging your career and your life. This guide is packed with valuable insights to help you overcome common challenges faced by veterans transitioning to civilian life. Don't miss out on this opportunity to take control of your career and life. Head over to the missionafter .org to download your copy now. It's completely free and could be the game changer you're looking for.

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